I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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