"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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