It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
