If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
