Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
