tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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