Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's the barista slut.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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