So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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