She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
