he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
