My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
third nipple confirmed
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
