This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
