Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
