let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You pole danced in your parka.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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