I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
