five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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