i think my tv is drunk
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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