Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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