the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize