i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
