ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
