Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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