I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
