i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
