And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
