so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
be right there i have to get my cape
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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