It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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