U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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