no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
