Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
