So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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