so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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