What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
