true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
