if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
