white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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