I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize