Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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