you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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