Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize