he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
