He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
