I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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