Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My feet surprised me
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