I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
