my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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