We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
