Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
