found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
