Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
