Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
