I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
