How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
