what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
