Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
