I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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