He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
