I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
