that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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