I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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