Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
