sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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