your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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